Good. Bad. Succeed. Fail.
How each one of these sits with you will depend on your end goal of what you are striving for and your perspective of what each of these words means to you.
Recently I was dealing with an injury in Jiu Jitsu and was not comfortable pushing it into competition mode. Since competing is a large part of how I direct myself mentally and physically I noticed myself feeling moody, distracted, overwhelmed while at the same time under stimulated. This is a recipe for disaster (for me) and screams high school all over again. I eventually went to one of my coaches and said "Hey, I need some direction and since it cannot be competition right now I am wondering what I can work on in training to work towards getting my purple belt".
(Approaching my coach alone required a certain level of awareness on my behalf but it could be noted that when we are feeling any of the aforementioned emotions, we are likely suffering from boredom and lack of direction)
My coach came back with some techniques that I can work on in class as well as where he sees me lacking in my mentality.
The conversation gave me perspective, purpose, and something to work towards. I could implement his advice every day in both my personal and training life.
Many times we get stuck on the story that lives inside our heads. We begin to categorize things into good/successful or bad/failure. It is this kind of tunnel vision that leads us to living inside a bunch of "shoulda's" and often keeps us frozen with indecision.
Flexible thinking allows us to see outside the lines of these categories and feel more freedom in our choices.
There is a Chinese parable that illustrates this well.
If we make up our minds about where something will lead us and what category it lives in, it takes away the opportunities that exist inside of our experiences. The truth is we do not know where most of our choices will lead us in the long term, (we will talk about this next week), so determining whether they are good or bad or successful or failures is a fleeting sense of control. If I had not been hurt and floundering around restlessly inside of my own head, I would have never been so uncomfortable that I went to my coach looking for changes. Which means that the hard conversation would have never happened. Which means that I wouldn't have deepened the trust that I have within my position on the team and I would not have developed focused goal both physically and mentally.
Ultimately if we do not know where we want to go with things in our life, be it training, relationships, career, hobbies, living situations, and self development; we lack direction.
Goals and building self awareness is a very good reason to have a coach or a therapist.
Stepping outside of your head and getting a professional opinion about what you are feeling and thinking is invaluable. Otherwise the chances that you will maintain categories that are a product of habit, (from your experiences and environment), will continue to influence your perspective even when you think you have a good handle on things.
It is important to have goals in mind.
It is important to have perspective on your goals.
It is important to think in small steps that lead to a bigger picture.
But most importantly, it is important to have the self awareness to recognize when we can handle things on our own and when we need to gather the troops to help us out.