The darkest and most dangerous places exist in our own mind.
I am a professional at spinning out. My mind loves to come up with ideas and then chase them off the cliff into both doom and gloom AND success and opportunity. I am also a professional at keeping my mouth shut about wtf is running through my mind. Whether it be success or certain failure, I will speak of it only to people who I can trust with my life to not spin the crazy dial any further. This is solely because of who I want to be in the world that I will only trust calm and rational people to talk my deepest shit with.
Having had deeply distressing or disturbing experiences (trauma).. I know that time does not heal all wounds. What time does allows you to do is build a relationship with your mind and recognize how you treat it and how it treats you. We all know the idea that we are a sum total of the 5 people we spend time with, and this is because mentality is contagious.
If you are looking to change your mentality then here are some questions to ask yourself (in this order):
What shows, books, or music do you consume?
This can tell us if we have a flare for drama or if it has imprinted the idea behind what life is "supposed" to look like. What our aspirations are. What our style of processing emotions is. Etc.
And then think about the experiences you have on a regular basis?
What are the patterns here, because we all have them. And if you struggle to recognize your own patterns ask someone who you have an uncomplicated relationship with what they see you doing regularly that may be inhibiting you living your best life.
What kind of action do you take over your problems?
This is a biggie... let us tie this one to the ones above. Do your actions mimic those you see on TV, in the group of friends you have, the regular experiences you participate in, (ie bar hopping, movies, exercise, shopping, tindering, etc). This will lead you down the rabbit hole of "AM I HAPPY WITH MY DECISIONS?"
Ouch. Something that no one ever really likes asking themselves.
When we realize we are in charge of the little daily things we do, (realizing it means you cannot un-realize it).
we usually become wildly uncomfortable because that is a fuck ton of responsibility over our lives and we barely like to take responsibility over our bodies let alone whole life.
I am here to tell you that discomfort is just fine.
It is temporary.
It is also necessary if you want to change anything about your life.
It is scary as fuck to think about being alone with ourselves. Our mind is a living reel of experiences that continuously plays and is so easy to binge watch. But we do have some control over the loops our mind runs on. We just have to recognize that power and do the work to change it.
THIS IS THE NUMBER ONE REASON CLIENTS ARE HESITANT TO START A BREATH WORK PROGRAM. We could call it the "I am afraid of my own greatness" syndrome. But really it is the "I have no idea WTF I would do with my time if I didn't have these habits (healthy or unhealthy) to dwell inside of" syndrome.
The first option teaches us to hope that we will be great. The second is the fear of change. But either way you cut it... fear and hope are the same thing. One tries to look at the light at the end of the tunnel to get us through the shittiness we are living in and one dwells in the darkness of worse case scenario. If you want to live your best life... there are actions you can take that no one else can take from you.
I want to say "I am sorry for the heavy handedness of this post", but I am not really sorry. I want a better world for each fuckin person that I meet or encounter. That includes you <3